I'm Resurrecting the Diet Blog

Hi girls!

I've decided to bring the Diet Blog back to life and hope you join us, follow us, comment....whatever you feel like.  It's all about moral support with a little Twilighty twist!

click here:

Fat Ass Bitches Getting Skinny

I would love to see you there and pass it on to your Twi-friends!

Thanks!

xo

EP Read Along Week 20 - Chapters 57-59

We are back for our little EP haitus.

Do you feel rested and refreshed?

Did you get caught up in your EP reading?

Well, ready or not....here we go!

Chapter 57 - EPOV

Chapter 57 is from Edward's point of view and starts off after the visit from Aro for Edward's birthday.  Bella is completely overwhelmed with the idea that Alec would vouch for her and that he could die for her mistakes.  Bella has always lived with the fear of dying herself for other's mistakes, so this concept is unfathomable.  What do you think Alec's motivation is for vouching for Isabella?  Are his reasons personal or professional?

The next morning, Edward finds Isabella in the library.  Bella tells him that she wants to learn.  That's when the idea occurs to Edward that although Isabella could never go to a traditional high school, she certainly could get her GED.  He talks with his father and Alec about it and Carlisle says it's Bella's decision whether or not she wants to get educated.  Bella is so overcome with emotion over Edward wanting her to be able to get an education that she breaks down and sobs into his neck.  Her life just continues to take her places that she never dreamed of.

Edward tries teaching Bella to play Twinkle Twinkle on the piano and he tries to keep his cool, which he does.  Alec sneaks up on them and basically tells Edward in Italian that Isabella reminds him so much of Elizabeth and his father thinks so too.  What do you think about that?  Does it help to understand some of Carlisle's actions and attitudes.

Edward had a conversation with Aro before he left that he is keeping from Bella.  It is obvious that Aro is trying to use Isabella from every angle to get Edward to join.  He tells Edward that his joining is the only way to protect Bella.

The chapter ends with Edward hoping that what he and Isabella had "would be strong enough to come through the storm that was looming on the horizon".   So Edward has a feeling some bad shit is going to go down....are his instincts correct?  What do you think?

Best LOL moments of this chapter - 

mmmmmm......what do you think of Edward's braggiole?

- "She does have Italian in her, Jazz.  She sleeps beside our little bro every night.  You know damn well she has that braggiole in her all the time" - Emmett

- The sexual innuendos with "Trouble" by Emmett and Jasper.  Gotta love Jasper telling Bella to do it harder and Emmett saying "How the fuck are you going to teach her this shit if can't even get in the right hole?"

This fic might be angsty, but it definitely has many awesome LMAO moments!!! Just sayin.....

Chapter 58 - BPOV

Edward is pouting about having to go to football camp and Emmett is totally giving him shit about it.  In the weeks leading up to his departure, he had tried to put on a happy face for Bella, until the day he actually had to leave.  It really shows how strong Bella has become when she is able to have the confidence to tell him he has to go - even though it is killing her inside.  So he finally goes, after saying "I'm not fucking going" a million times and Bella is apart from Edward for the first time since they began their relationship.

Emmett and Jasper keep Bella quite busy during the course of the week.  Breakfast at the diner every morning with Emmett bright and early, the beach twice, game days, movies days and studying for her GED.  Edward and Bella have a restless week without each other and to make matter's worse - they start the week out by playing phone tag for a day or two.  They finally get into a pattern and are at least able talk on the phone once a day.

First Beach

My favorite Emmett and Bella bonding moment is at breakfast the first day, at the diner.  Emmett calls her little sis and that warms Bella's heart.  Emmett says "Yeah, little sis.  It's what you are.  Someday you'll probably marry  my shithead little brother and make it official".  Awwwww!  So sweet Emmett! and such a way with words! LOL

I love when Bella puts on the modest bathing suit that Rosalie picked up for her and is admiring her healthier, curvier body.  She has come so far and grown so much!  She says she wasn't sure if her being curvier was considered a good thing but it didn't matter because Edward seemed to like it.

The beach is where Bella runs into Jacob and finds out that Edward is forbidden from going there.  She's not sure if Edward would want her to go there and is not sure if she should tell him she went.  Our girls keeps getting fiestier and tells Jacob off for speaking badly about Edward.

Last, but not least, we get to the reason that Chapter 58 is one of my favorite EP chapters - 

Edward and Bella's first phone sex! LOL  

The conversation starts out completely innocently.  Edward says, "Hey tesoro. Whatcha doing?"  Just making small talk, you know.  Then he kicks it up a notch by asking..."What are you wearing?"  HELLO! annnnnd it just escalates from there.  When Edward asked Bella to touch herself, I don't think he really thought she would do it.  But, Bella is always amazing Edward, and much to his surprise, she plays along and they both get release they desperately needed.

The chapter ends with Edward returning from football camp.  When he gets out of his car in the driveway, Bella being adorable, flies off the front porch and launches herself at him.  Sweet reunion! Of course Edward being Edward says, "Well fuck. If I'm going to be getting greeted like that, maybe I need to go away more often"

Chapter 59 - EPOV

Definitely the spot to break out the football manip - for you Fran!!!

Chapter 59 is football camp from Edward's point of view.  Of course he is rooming with Mike Newton.  Wouldn't you know it?  Edward is trying to keep his cool with all the guys, who just keep giving him shit.  They know he has a short fuse and they keep trying to push his buttons.  Of course he gets into a few scuffles throughout the week.  The highlight of Edward's week was on the last day of practice Coach Clapp compliments his playing and tells him that some UW coaches have been expressing some interest in him.  For once someone is telling Edward that he has potential in an area that doesn't involve a life of crime.  So he's feeling good.

After Bella attacks him in the driveway upon his return, they go to bed as they are both exhausted.  They talk about what Bella did all week and Edward gets pissed at Emmett for taking her to First Beach.  When he confronts Emmett about it and throws the whole James incident in his face, Emmett basically puts Edward in his place.  The next morning Edward thanks Emmett for taking care of Bella.

Bella shares some of the sketches she had made while Edward was gone.  One of the meadow in particular catches his attention because Bella has only been to the meadow one time, yet she drew it in such amazing detail.  Edward puts it together that Bella must have a photographic memory to remember such details from seeing it once, and for remembering all the facts she saw on Jeopardy.

Edward and Bella finally have a chance to reconnect in the bedroom and Edward is enjoying Bella's "newfound kinkiness".  The chapter ends with Edward and Bella discussing their future and possible colleges.  Edward tells Bella that they will go wherever she wants to go.

Okay my wonderful Mafiaward h00rs......for next week we will be discussing

Chapters 60-62

See ya in the comments!!!!!

EP Read Along

Hey there MafiaWard H00rs!!!!!

Summer has really caught up with many of us!

So much FF to read!

100 Monkeys concerts to attend!

RL just getting in the way!

You know what I mean.

So we have decided to skip this week's EP Read Along.

Just thought we needed a little break.

So we will resume our EP Read Along next Friday, July 22nd

with Chapters 57 - 59

Have a great week!

PS: Don't forget to check out last weeks post HERE and comment

25 Things About UAB!

Yeah, I caught the "25 things about me" fever!  

So here is a list of 25 things you may or may not know about

UtterlyAbsurd Bella


Forgive me for all the pictures - but I am a very visual person!
(that was a freebie fact about me! LOL)

1.  I am a planner. 

 A pain in the ass, have to know all the details, write lists kind of planner.  I had to know the gender of each of my kids because I had to plan ahead!  

2. I am a Beatlemaniac.  
(I flove these bitches!!!!!)

Some of you already know this, but it's worth repeating as being a Beatle fan has been a significant part of my life since I was 13.  I went to Beatlefest (now called "The Fest for Beatles Fans") every year for like 20 years starting in 1982 - there was a lot of underage drinking and overage drinking over the years! 
Good times....good times.....

3. I do have some artistic ability. 

 I enjoy drawing and I wish I had time to take some art classes so I can tweak my skillls.  I did take Art as a major in H.S. but I think I would benefit from more classes as an adult.   I was even brave enough last week to open a deviantArt page.  They may kick me out because I suck, but what the hell......

You can check it out here.....be kind. 

http://utterlyabsurdbella.deviantart.com/

4. I have the worlds tiniest, weakest bladder.

  It's a running joke among my family and friends.  One time I even cut in front of a pregnant lady at White Sox game!  Anywhere I go, everyone asks me where the bathroom is.....because I would know! LOL  

5.  I used to work at Penthouse Magazine.

Yeah, I did.  During college, I worked there part time as an office assistant.  When I graduated, I got promoted to Office Manager where I worked until I found a teaching job.  Now keep in mind, I worked at the Chicago Ad Sales office which is really not as exciting as it sounds.  However I did get to meet the Julie Strain (the Penthouse Pet above) as well as my boss at the time -  Penthouse owner, Bob Guccioni.  I also saw my share of misdirected polaroids of chicks under the delusion that they could be a Penthouse pet.  Those were always good for a laugh around the office.

6. In High School, I was a pom pon girl.

That's me.....second from your left.

7. I remember tiny details about everything.

I literally can pretty much look at any item in my house and remember where and when we bought it as well as any story that goes with the item.  If it was a gift, I can tell you who gave it to me and for what occasion.  Don't even get me started on Xmas ornaments for the tree - I know them all!  Even the ones from students I had 15 years ago!!!!  It's crazy!  

8. I have been to 3 Wiggles concerts.  

That's my youngest - Matt at age 3

Yes, I took these.  And yes, I STILL think Anthony (blue Wiggle) is HOT!!!!

9. I got close enough to Paul McCartney to take pictures.

This is me and my BFF Jacki falling apart after he left!

10. I met INXS and the GoGo's in the same night

With Charlotte Caffey from the GoGo's - Belinda Carlisle was totally drunk and  walked right passed us.
This was 1984 - and INXS opened for the GoGo's!

Me with Gary Beers - INXS

Me getting a kiss from Tim Farris - INXS

Getting Tim Farris's autograph

Michael Hutchence was totally wasted too and staggered passed us and into the hotel. :(

11. I love tap water as long as it's from Lake Michigan.

12. My sister Barb is my best friend.

Always has been.....always will be.

13. I grew up in an apartment above a hardware store on the Southwest side of Chicago.

This is the actual hardware store I lived above!  I googled my old address on google images, and it came up!  Back then it was an Ace Hardware.....and I hated living there.

14. I cut hair.

I am not trained in any way to cut hair - but my husband hasn't had anyone but me cut his hair in like 20 years.

  I do the boys hair too.

15. I was a Girl Scout until I was in High School
( I really am a SUPERGEEK!)

I'm the 2nd on the left and my sister is 2nd from the right

If you read the FF "There Will Be Blood" -
 this is my and my sis standing in front of Holy Name Catherdral.

16. I was named after my grandmother.

Luckily I was named after her middle name - her name was Eunice Marie.  
My mom always teases me that she wanted to name me Eunice! 

17. Champagne makes me cry.

Every. Freakin. Time.

18.  I saw Pope John Paul II

The Pope said a special mass at our church and I was one of the lucky Girl Scouts from my church to be chosen to attend the mass.  It was a big deal back then.

19. I am a Harry Potter geek!  Totally!

Before Twilight came along, I was happily reading and rereading my Harry Potter books, spending hours playing Harry Potter Trivia on Facebook.  

(Now I'm even happier reading Twilight and even happier still reading FF!)

20. I HATE, I repeat HATE 3D movies.

Apparently these are 3D glasses for Harry Potter....won't be needing these!

Just give me good old fashioned 2-D - thank you very much.

Maybe it's because I have to put the 3D glasses over my real glasses - which I need to see the movie,

but it sucks.

21. I love to cook and bake and I am a Pampered Chef junkie!!!!

I seriously have almost everything pictured here!

22.  I did not start driving until I was 25!

And this was my car....well not THE actual car

but it was brown and tan 82 Ford Fairmont. 

 My husband (well boyfriend at the time) bought it from

 his grandfather to give to  me as a Christmas present!

I guess I never really needed a car before when I lived in the city.

No a/c but at least it had FM radio! LOL

23. Teaching was not my first career choice

 - it was Sound Engineering. 

I went to Columbia College for 2 years after HS and majored in

Arts, Entertainment and Media Management - specializing in Sound Engineering.

Turns out, that was not a good career for me.....since I don't have a penis.

24. I love "The Office"!

I have to admit, the very first time I watched "The Office", my reaction was ....meh.

Then I gave it a second chance and now I flove this show!  

It's like one of my favorite shows of all time.

I'm a comedy person....not so much drama.  There's enough of that in RL.

25. My mom has a HUGE family!
She has 14 brothers and sisters - so I have a lot of Aunts, Uncles and Cousins.
This picture is from our last Family Reunion and it is just a fraction of my grandmother's grandchildren!

Don't even get me started on her great grand children!!!
The numbers are mind-boggling!

So there you have it - 25 things about me.
If you haven't had a chance to share some things about you
go ahead and tell us in the comments!

EP Read Along Week 19 - Chapter 54-56

[credit goes to the creator of this pic - wasn't me ;)]

Welcome to week 19!

Are you keeping up tesoros?

Remember, if you went on ahead and finished the story, 

we would still love to hear from you in the comments!

Ch. 54 - CPOV

Chapter 54 is from Carlisle's POV and we finally get to meet Alec.  What are your first impressions of him?  Carlisle describes his eyes as being so dark that you couldn't differentiate between the pupil and the iris.  That make me think of a shark - a predator.  Alec is scary as hell, but Carlisle is turning to him for help with the situation he finds himself in.


Carlisle is revealing everything he knows about Isabella to Alec, including that she is a principessa della mafia (mafia princess), that her mother Renee is actually named Bree and the daughter of Marcus and Didyme and Aro’s niece who was supposed to be dead.  Whoever killed Bree’s parents sold her to Charles Sr. knowing full well who she was and he kept her as a slave. Carlisle’s concern right now is that if Aro finds out that he has been keeping this information from  him, that he will be killed  - which is confirmed by Alec.

Alec agrees to help Carlisle against his better judgement and makes it clear that he is only doing this to protect Esme.  In agreeing to help Alec decides that their first order of business is to permanently silence the doctor who ran the DNA tests.  Alec also recommends that Carlisle tell Edward everything so that he knows what he is up against.

In the chapter we also find Carlisle musing about how proud he is of Emmett and Jasper as they graduate from high school and that he feels like he's not a complete disappointment to Elizabeth's memory.  This line of thinking leads him to panic about Edward's future.  Edward is about to turn 18 and will soon choose the path his life will take.  He is concerned that Aro will try to manipulate Edward (read between the lines - use Isabella) to get Edward to do what he wants.

The chapter then flashes back to one year after Elizabeth's death.  

Aro has told Carlisle that Charles Swan had Elizabeth killed.  Understandably angry, Carlisle gets into his car against Aro's orders and starts driving 26 hours straight through from Chicago to Phoenix to get his revenge.   As he a approaches the Swan residence he comes across Charles Sr. and his wife driving along and Carlisle turns around and goes after them, causing them to crash and severely injuring them both. Carlisle proceeds to beat Charles Sr. to death and light his car on fire.  Having nowhere else to go, Carlisle goes to the Swan home to clean up and tries to kill Isabella and would have killed her if his gun hadn’t  failed.  That’s when Carlisle hit rock bottom.  He realizes that he almost killed an innocent child.  The child his wife sacrificed her life trying to save.  In the end Aro gives Carlisle a pass and helps to cover his tracks, but continues to hold it over his head.

The chapter ends with Carlisle and Alec finishing their private discussion and then Alec greeting the family.  Isabella is understandably nervous about meeting Alec but with a little whispered encouragement from  Edward, she faces her fears. Edward introduces her as his girlfriend and she surprises everyone by holding her hand out to him to shake it and saying "It's a pleasure to meet you Alec".   Are you wondering what Edward whispered in her ear?  I love how Carlisle is watching how Edward and Bella are interacting with each other and it makes him smile!

What do you think?  Is Carlisle softening, as Alec says?  Is this a good thing?

Chapter 55 - EPOV

Chapter 55 begins with Bella meeting Alec from Edward's point of view.  What Edward really wants to do is throw Bella over his shoulder and run away from the situation but he knows that Bella needs to face her fears.  Instead he whispers to her to pretend that she is Harry Potter and that fucker over there is Voldemort and that his love for her will protect her the same way that Harry was always protected by his mother's love. (I'm a huge Harry Potter fan so I loved the reference!)

Don't you adore the banter between Edward and Esme?  "That's not the only thing big about me, isn't that right, Bella?"  Esme has a great sense of humor, but I'm sure Bella was totally embarrassed by Edward saying that!  It's comforting to know that Esme is the one adult that is so accepting of Edward and Bella's relationship.  She just accepts it without question or reservation.

When Edward sees that Bella is getting ready to make cannoli, he says "Holy shit, don't tell me you're making what I think you're making".  This is one of the reasons I love Mafiaward!  He just comes out and says stuff like that out of nowhere and makes me LMAO!  Then he says, "Christ, just when I thought it wasn't possible to love you anymore than I do, you go and make fucking Cannoli from scratch"  Edward just has a way with words, doesn't he?

"Food fuckers!" - again.....LOL!!!!

The family has a somewhat tense dinner, but Edward of course tries to soothe Isabella throughout.  Everyone is impressed with the Cannoli and this leads to Emmett quoting "The Godfather" and then promising Izzy Bizzy a date with her to watch it.  After dinner, Edward is summoned to his father's office where he is met with his father and Alec.  After a brief commentary on Edward's lack of manners (and Isabella's possession of them despite being born in a barn literally), Alec comes right out and asks Edward if he is going to be initiated.  After some stalling, Edward tells him no.   Carlisle and Alec proceed to tell Edward everything about the DNA and who Bella is, but he pretty much had it all figured out anyway.  Again, the possibility of Isabella being used to manipulate Edward to do what Aro wants comes up in the conversation.

On graduation day, the girls go up to Edward and Bella's room to get ready.  Do you love how Edward is eye-fucking Bella when he sees her all dressed up for the graduation?  And the subsequent "conversation" between Rosalie ("You're such a fucking pervert Cullen") and Edward ("Whatever, sleaze") Of course after seeing Bella looking so hot, Edward wants to fool around.  Did anyone else think it was adorable that that Bella thought they would be able to tell?  Yeah, blushing Bella would give their little secret away! LOL  Then Bella gets a little eye-fuck in herself before Edward gets dressed for the graduation.

The graduation itself has a profound effect on Bella, particularly the speeches.  They brought tears to her eyes.    I can imagine what she must have been feeling, this being her first experience at such an event that can be filled with emotion.  Afterwards Edward's brother's reveal to him that they figured out that it was Bella that their mother was trying to save.  Bella has changed so much in time that she's been with them and Emmett proclaims that although their dad brought her there, Edward is the one who saved Isabella.  He made her what she is today, by giving her the love that she needed.  Edward tells his brothers that he does not want Bella to find out about their mom because it would crush her.

The evening ends with Edward and Bella making love and Bella surprising Edward by getting on top of him.(GO BELLA!!!)  Edward starts speaking in Italian (makes me melt!!!) and says "Principessa mia ti amo tanto" which basically means "Princess I love you so much".  Do you think Edward was telling Bella in way that he knows she won't understand? Or was it just passion talking?

Chapter 56 - BPOV

Edward's 18th Birthday.  Bella gets out of bed and goes downstairs to bake Edward an Italian Cream Cake for his birthday and gets an unexpected visitor.  Alec just watches her while she is making the cake and making her feel very uncomfortable.  After skeeving her out for a while, Alec finally says good morning.  Things continue to be awkward for Bella and then Carlisle comes in which is almost a relief (but not quite).  Bella is mortified when she realizes that it is quite possible that Dr. Cullen and Esme were home last night and most likely heard her and Edward and has her fears basically confirmed when Carlisle says to go wake Edward up because he's probably not decent.  Dr. Cullen seems really upset about the Italian Cream Cake that Bella is making for Edward.  Why do you think that is?

The bad news is that Aro is coming to see Edward on his birthday.  Dr. Cullen tells Bella that she needs to let Edward know that his Godfather is coming.  Edward is not happy at all because he knows exactly why he is coming.   While Edward is taking a shower, Bella writes him a little note and puts it in his winter coat pocket knowing that he won't be wearing that coat for a while and it will be a nice little surprise for him later on.  This will come back later......that's all I can say.

Edward tells Bella that he is not only worried about Aro trying to get him to iniate but that he is also worried about how all this might affect Bella.  Now that Edward knows the truth about Bella's ancestry he is seeing this situation with a new perspective.  The meeting itself is strained.  Edward is openly affectionate to Isabella which Aro finds surprising.  The discussion turns to Edwards future plans and Aro is not pleased that the plans do not include Edward joining the organization.  When asked what is to become of Isabella, Carlisle tells Aro that his is preparing her to be set free. Alec steps up to vouch for Isabella which basically means if Bella screws up in any way, Alec will pay for it with his life.

Just before Aro arrives, Esme has a heart to heart with Bella and tries to explain Alec to her and let  her know that she thinks of Bella as family.  Bella feels like Esme is being very motherly toward her which brings about feelings of guilt from Bella who is missing her own mother.

Bella heads up to bed early because she is overwhelmed with the stress from the day.  When Edward joins her later on, she asks him if she will really be free.  He says she will be free, but it won't be easy.  He tells her she will be free to do anything she wants with her life including going to school, marrying him or leaving his ass.  LOL  Bella says she would never leave him, and he is glad to hear it, but assures her that his point is that she has a choice.

***************

So now that Edward is fully informed of Bella's lineage, 

do you think he will continue to persist with his early pursuits of running away with Bella? 

For next week - Read Chapters 57-59

My Night with 100 Monkeys at House of Blues

When I first heard about 100 Monkeys coming to play at House of Blues Chicago I had to tell my bloggy bestie right away and get her to go with me. We originally purchased balcony seats so we could sit through the show, but I had a gut feeling and I just wanted to try and get closer. So as the concert was approaching I found a VIP ticket for half price, I went for it. Why pass up the opportunity to see the sound check and get a cool gift! Little did I know they were going to let every person with a VIP ticket get their pic taken with the band and get a t-shirt and autographed pic of the band! So UtterlyAbsurdBella, hisbella, BellaTesoro, 17foreverlisa, MamaCougar, LilCougar and I all went to the show. We also met up with Lety!

LilCougar was taking the pic for us

Let's get to the good stuff!! I'm in line waiting to get my picture taken with the band, I'm trying really hard not to freak out! Lil Cougar was in line with me, after she got hers I walked up to them and I can't believe I said this.. "Hi boys!" God I'm a dork lol. So anywho after that small embarrassment I get all handsy with the band, okay really not but I did get to touch Jackson and Ben G... I also made sure to reach and touch Jerad aka Mohawtie and Ben J.

So while I'm standing there in the like 40 seconds it's gonna take to get my picture taken Ben G says to me "Want to trade shirts?" After the pic I look from his face to his shirt back to his face and say "Sure!" He laughed so I said "No really, I'll trade you right now." He says to me "No, my bark is worse than my bite." GAH!!! What is that supposed to mean??? I'd rather take the bite anyway ;)

Then as I'm walking away I tell them that if Uncle Larry can't make it because he's sick to tell him that we missed him at the show. Jackson says "Of course." Yep so I talked to him too. At least I kept my head and didn't say anything really stupid. Well Uncle Larry came through and played with the band even though he was sick! It just wouldn't have been the same without him, so I'm glad he was feeling well enough to preform.

Before the pictures Jackson, Jerad, Ben G and Ben J all sang .38 Special (my favorite!) after the pics there were three opening acts.

New Hallow

Tin Tin Can

Kissing Club

Then 100 Monkeys finally took the stage and they rocked the place!! Now I will let you bask in some of the pictures I took...

Singing .38 Special

Here are the "after the opening act" pics!

I think this was the best pic I took all night!

You can find the rest of my pics at my FB
and Photobucket the password for the album is Chicago

During the Thank You song, Jackson gets down and starts shaking hands/high fiving(real word?) the people in the front row... I. Was. One. Of. Them. He also leaned off the edge of the stage and grabbed my hand earlier in the night.. okay okay so I was the grabby one jeeze give a girl a break ;)

After the concert was over UtterlyAbsurdBella, hisbella, and I were in the lobby of HoB where Ben J was talking with some people and hugged a lady (seemed like she could have been family or something IDK) I calmly (sorta) walk up to him and ask for a pic. And that is how I ended my night!

PS: Don't forget to beg 17foreverlisa to tell her story! BellaTesoro too!!!

UPDATE: My videos are now up on youtube!