EP Read Along Week 25 Chapters 72-75

EP Read Along Week 26 Chapters 72-75

Ciao to all mia bella ragazza. I hope you’re ready for these next four chapters. They not only span several years, but they are long and  emotionally charged scenes. I found them intensely difficult to read even the second time around. It’s incredible how my real life mood was affected. It felt so real somehow.  I think you’ll agree they were also filled with the most drama, action, and I believe the best written chapters so far.  I will try my best to summarize them into the main ideas, but there was so much, that I found it nearly impossible, word h00r that I am.

Hold on tight, get the kleenex and please tell me all your thoughts.

Sempre,

Fran

Chapter 72 BPOV Errors & Pardons

Bella is still in and out of consciousness and vaguely recalls being rescued by Edward and company. She’s taken to Esme and Alec’s home as she slowing recuperates. First thing she asks for is Edward, who unbeknownst to her has been called away for mob duty. Wait until she finds out

what Edward did!

Next time she wakes up, she happily sees Edward sleeping in bed with her and they fill each other in with missing pieces of what happened. Bella tells Edward that James wanted to kill him back in Forks and how she begged for his life. Edward grabs on to that and says, “You would sacrifice for me? You’d throw your life away if it meant I’d keep mine?”  Of course he needs and  wants her to know that he would and did the same for her. Edward mentions he’s starting to see he’s a lot like his father. Edward finally starts giving her the gruesome details of being arrested along with Alec and Carlisle who were not out in time to help find her. So Edward went to the only person he knew could help,  Aro. He blurts out that he sign on, he took the oath. She says no to take it back, and of course he can’t, there’s no getting out alive of that membership. He tries to make her understand he did the only thing he could to save her and he reminds her she would have sacrificed for him too.

Emmett stops by to visit and tries to explain that Edward joining was “shitty” but he would probably have done the same thing. Life, he reminds her, isn’t some ideal fairy tale especially for them. Bella has to deal with being the reason Edward joined, she’s feeling guilty yet again. She’s feeling the loss of a future they had started to plan.

Edward and Bella take a walk and end up sitting on the stairs of his childhood home. He tells Bella his mother loved this white house. We’ll see this house again later.

They return to Forks and Edward says “Welcome Home” and Bella feels like she really has come home. It’s where they found love.

Carlisle has a heart to heart with Bella. He explains and apologizes for what he did to her on the anniversary of Elizabeth’s death. He tells her how the moment he let himself know Bella, he was done for. That he cares about Bella as one of his own, just as Elizabeth said he would. He hopes she does something in her life, that she deserves it, she’s worth it. He shows her his monitoring device and how ironic it is he’s in the same position she once was. He’s trying to right all his wrongs, he feels like he’ll be sent to prison and I think he’s trying to fix as much of what he can before that happens. He gives Bella Elizabeth’s journals in hopes they will help her cope with her freedom and her role next to Edward. He hopes she can use Elizabeth’s mistakes so as not to make the same ones. Bella tells Carlisle she forgives him, that he’s been the father Charles never was, that he’s always been there to help her, and that he’s a good man.

 When I first read this, I thought for sure Carlisle was going to solve everything, I thought he would be able to get Edward out of his commitment to the mob, I really wanted Carlisle to fix it all. Did you? Have you changed your mind about Carlisle?

Chapter 73 EPOV Searching

 Edward describes how horrible life in the mob is, he’s not in it for the money and he hates what he sees, the violence, and those pretending to be strong as they hide behind their titles. He names it all; assault, extortion, drugs, prostitution, corruption, arson, human trafficking and murder...he doesn’t want that kind of power. I don’t know about you, but I worry about Edward. He’s just not made for this life, he doesn’t have what it takes to do all of those evil things, yet here he is in the middle of it all. Edward tells about what a wreck he’s been and everything that went into looking for Bella. He compares his mother and Bella as being finally freed, only to be taken down by evil in the end. His mother’s words ring true, “A person couldn’t escape their fate no matter how they tried...” Edward feels he was always meant to be in the mafia and so no matter how hard he may have wanted it other wise,  it was just meant to be. Also Bella’s fate was to be free and he’s determined to make it so for her.

Aro makes Edward watch how men turn against their own family when loyalty to him is required.  Edward believes, Aro wants him to know that if need be, he will be expected to kill his own father or even brothers if asked to. Do you think Edward could ever do that if forced to? I don’t, not for a minute. But he fakes his loyalty and now understands how Bella was able to say yes sir, when she really wanted to say “f**k you.”

They go back to Forks and he hopes things will get better, but they don’t. Both E/B start shutting down emotionally. Edward is sent out on drug dealing and starts learning the ropes.

 Bella spends time writing and sketching in her notebooks, Edward sees a sketch of a man he later recognizes as the man who shot Elizabeth. He later tells Carlisle but at this point he thinks Bella is mistaken. That Alistair is a friend, Aro initiated him. Edward’s not convinced and I think Carlisle is starting to put pieces together that he doesn’t want to tell Edward about just yet.

Edward meets with Ben for the drug deal and asks him how he handles this  double life. Ben explains it’s not easy but that the end justifies the means. He lies to Angela because he thinks ignorance is bliss and as long as she doesn’t get hurt, he’s alright with the way things are for now. In other words, he needs the money, he does what he has to do. Ben is almost done with this life, having the money he needs to pay for law school. And after this conversation Edward has a sense of resolve, that he too can accept this life, do what he has to do. He does not like the situation, but he will accept it.

Things start to feel better as the house starts to fill with the return of everyone for Christmas. There’s the brother”s rough housing, Rosalie bitching, Esme being motherly and even the watching of Jeopardy. Jasper tells Edward his offer of helping him with Bella still stands. The police show up to talk to Bella about Jacob’s disappearance. She handles it well, only giving information to convince them that Jacob had decided to move on. Bella’s got this Principessa down already, don’t you think? Carlisle and Alec  would be proud.

E/B have yet another tense conversation where Bella explains how she’s to blame for all this, Jacob’s death, his joining, Elizabeth’s death...Edward says she is not and it was his choice to join so she would be free. She says, “Am I free, Edward?” She explains she doesn’t even know what free means. That now neither one of them is free because he isn’t. This point right here, has always been my feeling too. It’s the reason I asked Khar if she’d ever consider changing things for Edward...more on that another time. All of this is messing with Edward’s head. The next conversation with Carlisle tips the scale and makes him determined to make the ultimate sacrifice. Edward gets a phone call from Aro saying he has to come back to Chicago, that it’s time for his new life to begin full force. He finds Carlisle talking, he just knows his father is up to something to maybe help this mess they all were in, me I was hoping Carlisle would clean up the mess too. Edward asks his father if he regrets initiating. He says no, that doing that for Elizabeth, besides having his sons, was the best thing he’d ever done. Edward says he’s not regretting his decision either but he feels like he fucked up. Carlisle tells him he feels the same way, that he took Elizabeth from one dangerous world into another. He says the biggest mistake was (get this, you know Edward will...) not letting her go and so she never really got to experience the world free of who she had been. Edward says she would never have left him and Carlisle agrees but that he feels she should have been given a choice to be with him, not because she had no other options. Sound familiar? Exactly E/B’s relationship. Carlisle gives Edward the key to the Chicago house. He reminds Edward that he is partly his mother’s child so he should follow his heart as to what the right thing to do is. He decides at that moment not to be selfish anymore, every single thing coming together showing him what he’s supposed to do. He goes to his brother, and at this point we don’t know which brother, and says I need to take you up on the offer. I guess it’s to support him and Bella in this yet another of, in my opinion, Edward “fuck ups.”

Chapter 74 BPOV The Garden of Simple

This chapter digs at me, it guts my insides like no other chapter I’ve ever read, including New Moon when Edward leaves Bella. It has stayed with me since last August when I read it, exactly one year ago. This chapter is so well written so as to invoke that place in you where sadness lives. I both hate it and love it. So here goes...

Edward knows what he’s about to do, that’s the killer, he knows and wants to make this time with his family and Bella a time to remember for her. It’s Christmas day and Esme and Bella begin a conversation about how Edward is not like the men he’s about to live among. Esme explains that she understands, that men like Alec, Carlisle and now Edward don’t lose their goodness, the Edward she loves will not disappear. He will change, secrets will be kept. That he will need her to be his sanctuary from that evil world, and that she hates what her husband does but she understands why he does it. And that Bella’s love is still what’s needed to save Edward from drowning, as she’s been doing.  Alec comes in and says his wife needs to mind her business that Edward is an adult and what he chooses to do in private is the only part of his life that is his own to control. Alec explains to Bella what his vouching for her means, that she needs to keep all their secrets and that he is responsible for keeping her safe. He tells her not to worry about Edward, he’ll adapt and that the truth is no one is either all good or all bad and that he’s just now learning that himself. I think Bella and Edward are helping our made man here open up a little, he’s showing some feelings! Yes?

Edward walks in with his pants slung low with that shit grin, teasing his family about Santa not coming here anymore and that all of them are on the “fucking naughty list.” Got to love Edward. The family starts talking about not having a tree and so they wake up the boys and out they all go to find the perfect tree. All of these seemingly little details, getting the tree, Edward leaving the money to pay for it, the teasing like old times, Edward asking Bella if she likes his car and she does because it’s his, Emmett looking like Paul Bunyan... It all pulls at your emotions and makes what’s about to happen even worse.

Christmas dinner starts with Dr. C praying for love and forgiveness and then...he asks God to  “...help the innocent among us find the freedom they deserve.” Everything’s going good, this could work, Bella’s feeling stronger and then Edward does the unthinkable. He helps makes the prayer come true for Bella, the innocent achieve the freedom he thinks she needs. Stupid little shit...

Did you like Emmett’s proposal to Rosalie? I liked how he began by wishing his mother were there to see what he was about to do.

Bella is getting the vibe that everyone is on a secret, they seem a little sad and it’s starting to worry her. Especially when Esme cryptically says, “He really loves you, you know. Just never forget that, no matter what.” I guess she’s decided to listen to Alec and mind her business and not tell Bella what she knows is about to happen.

I don’t know about you all, but at this point when I first read this, I didn’t see exactly what was about to happen. I thought it was maybe Edward was going to run with Bella, I thought the brother who was helping was Emmett and that he was going to help them run. He took my breath away when I read the next part. How about you? Did you suspect?

Then  Bella hears them arguing and Emmett says it’s not too late to change your mind. And too please change his mind for all of them. He questions whether Edward can live with his choice and Edward says, “I have to.” Bella hears Jasper support Edward’s decision and Emmett saying it’s bullshit.

I’m with Emmett, although I understand Edward’s intentions, I think he was wrong to do it this way. What about you? Think Edward was right?

Ok, here goes. The scene that I can picture perfectly in my mind’s eye and when I do, it makes me so utterly sad. Bella falls asleep, she’s awaken confused and sees Edward sitting up on the couch looking out the window. The moonlight on his face as he looks so lost.

He tells her he had a dream, of Bella painting a picture of the meadow so beautiful and it’s displayed in a museum (I think Edward’s a little Alice like here, right?)  She laughs and says she doesn’t know how to paint, and he says you could learn, would you want to he wonders. He tells her she is capable and has talent to do whatever she wants to do. He asks her first if he can smoke some pot, and then they have a sensual sharing, shot gunning again. They play the 21 question game again, he seems to want to find out even more about her. She tells him she understands him, and he says he knows, and that she is the only one who ever did understand the real him and he thanks her for that.

 He notices it’s snowing and they go out into the night, sharing something magical as the snow creates a beautiful, romantic backdrop. I can’t think of dark snowy nights now without thinking of this scene, of them alone, with Edward knowing what he’s about to do and how devastated he must be feeling. She says it’s beautiful and says that they could enjoy the snowy Chicago winters together too. Edward just sadly smiles knowing that’s not going to happen.

 Edward hugs her, snow falls on them and he hums 18th Floor Balcony, their song and his voice cracks when he sings, “I’ll keep you in my dreams.”

She’s starting to sense his angst as they go back inside and she asks him to make love to her.

 On one hand he feels like a shit making love to her knowing what he’s about to do but he could never deny her. And so they share something truly raw and passionate and so intensely intimate. It’s as if they melt together. The last thing he says to her before she falls asleep is, “I meant it, Bella. I’ll keep you in my dreams.”

She awakes and all she’s left with is a letter. That letter did me in. From the FDR quote of how freedom can’t be bestowed it had to be achieved...He told her he was sacrificing his happiness so she could/should go out and live and find hers. He didn’t want her to be with him just because it was the only thing she knew. He wanted her to go out and be free to know other ways to be. That he meant everything he’d ever said to her and that none of this was her doing, and to go out and make them all proud...

As if the letter wasn’t bad enough, she also has to leave the only home she’s ever felt safe in and all the while her heart is shattering into a million pieces. She feels what she is, abandoned. Jasper tries to convince her she doesn’t need him, that she can go on without him.

She begs Carlisle to make him come back but he says he can’t. She’s left with no choice but to endure it, the pain of losing Edward. Jasper tells her the plan of coming with him to Settle, that he’ll help her and that Carlisle said she could stay as a guest as long as she likes. She’s scared, she tells Jasper she doesn't know what she’s doing and he tells her none of them do, that’s what real life is all about finding your place in it.

 She packs up and takes photographs, books, drawings, notebooks, the basket from Valentine’s Day, the necklace, and Edward’s football shirt that he gave her on that first day. Carlisle takes her to have the chip removed. He stays with her and holds her hand as the chip is removed. Carlisle asks her about the time she was held captive. He’s up to something for sure. She tells him things he didn’t know, she tells him about Stephan being Emmett’s real father and he’s happy she didn’t tell Emmett this, as he would not want to know. I don’t think they ever tell Emmett about his real father. Do you agree is was best not to tell him?

So the chapter ends with Bella alone in their room, their little bubble, their safe haven, their home. She looks at the picture of the two of them, kisses Edward’s face and says goodbye to a future Edward decided for her, one she never wanted. He took away the one thing she desired, him.

Chapter 75 EPOV Hole in the World

I love how this chapter begins with Edward’s counting the 1 and 1/2 years, hours, minutes, “and about 24 motherfucking seconds later...not like I was counting or anything..”

That just about says it all as to how he’s coping, he’s not. Esme’s not happy with his drinking and drug use.

Edward’s sick of everyone on his case about it, as at this point he’s pretty depressed and was suicidal as well. Who wouldn’t be right? He’s living a life he’s not made for, dealing with the scum of the earth, watching murders, and involved in creating it all. He’s ashamed, he knows both his mother and Bella would not have wanted him to be part of all this, yet here he is. The worse of course is not having Bella with him to save him from drowning in this mess. 

Edward reassures Esme that he’s done with “Molly” and that he’s gotten his act together the best way he can. (I really thought Molly was a woman, did you at this point?)

 He’s going to college for music education but he’s struggling with his mob way of life getting in the way. He starts to remember that December morning he left Bella and how much the pain of losing her can still bring him to his knees. It’s really pitiful when he remembers talking to Jasper and saying how this isn’t how it should have been. They should be getting ready to go to CA, to school just because Bella likes palm trees, and he never wanted to hurt her. He wants Jasper, who is the most like his mother, compassionate to do whatever it takes to help her get over the pain he’s about to inflict on her. Jasper promises to be there for her. Something Jasper later regrets not being able to do well enough.

The most, emotional parts of this family coming apart at the seams is when Emmett goes off on Edward. He gives it to him good. Saying he better come to his senses and change his mind about leaving her. That she is the best thing that ever happened to him, that he will never survive without her. Edward tells him he’s doing it to free her. Here’s the point where I so agree with Emmett; “Then why the fuck are you taking that away from her? ...did you even fucking give her a chance to tell you what she wants to do? You’re making this choice for her. ...What gives you the right...Could you possibly be more condescending? You’re not giving her enough credit. you arrogant prick...maybe she is better off without an asshole like you” See I agree with him Emmett, but it’s Alec that clinches the argument once and for all, and I guess I have to give it up for his take on all this. That neither one of them knows what they’re talking about, that we all have choices taken from us...that it doesn’t matter what Edward does that day, that Bella will have choices taken from her and they aren’t all Edward’s doing. He goes on to say, that they talk about freedom like word alone has some meaning, “when in fact freedom is what you make of it...Edward isn’t deciding Isabella’s future, he’s deciding his own, and the unfortunate effect ...is that Isabella loses something, a part of life we all have to deal with...”

What do you think?  Who, Alec, Emmett, or Edward’s wins in this pissing contest? Alec tells Edward to more or less shit or get off the pot. Edward stands firm and Emmett tells him not to expect him to be there when he falls apart.

Edward sacrifices, moves to Chicago and tries to do what is expected of him as a made man. But he’s so lost and alone and out of place.

Edward tells about the only thing that made the hole in his chest feel any better was “Molly” and yes as I said, when I first read this I thought Molly was a woman. Is it terrible of me to admit I was happy to find out “Molly” was in fact ecstasy rather than Edward going back to his man hoor days?

It’s glossed over some, but Edward was so depressed, even suicidal that he accidentally OD’s on some tainted drugs. Edward learns his lessons, Alec and Aro try to teach him respect and he realizes his actions got Phil, his drug dealer killed because Alec doesn’t put up with drugs in his clubs and of course for revenge and teaching a “lesson.” This reminds Edwarad he did the right thing getting Bella away from this life, where she might have suffered from Edward’s mistakes too.

Edward and Emmett make up during Emmett’s bachelor party when Emmett realizes he may have been wrong, as Bella seems to being doing ok away from this world. That Bella did just what Edward had hoped for, she flew away from them all and that they’ve lost touch with her. Edward finds some comfort in the fact that he hadn’t completely fucked up by letting her go. But Emmett knows how rough it’s been for Edward  and he doesn’t say I told you so because he sees how rough it’s been for him.

The rest of the chapter goes into more of Edward’s new mob life. Alec finds Victoria and her father and ends up killing them for their part in Bella’s abduction and we get more information on who Alistair is. Also, for me, it was interesting to learn some of the Chicago mob history. Alec did a good job explaining the Irish, Italian and Russian connections.

The chapter ends with Alec being called away on some personal business and Edward has a feeling it has something to do with Bella...

So I apologize for the size of this monster. I tried my best to shorten it. I hope you enjoyed my picture walk as well. I used pictures I felt expressed the tone and setting of these chapters.

Let me know your thoughts and let the comments fly!

Next week will be chapters 76-78

EP Read Along Week 24 - Chapters 69-71

Chapter 69 – BPOV

Chapter 69 starts off with the shoot out in front of the Cullen house from Bella’s point of view.    Bella is horrified that Jacob has been shot and is shaking uncontrollably when Edward tells her to get into the car.  Before Edward and Bella drive away. Bella gets clipped in the arm with a bullet.  They take off with James and company hot on their tails.  Bella and Edward are slammed from behind and crash into some trees.    Edward is unconscious and James comes to take Bella.  She grabs Edward’s gun and accidentally shoots Laurent.  The people with James obviously know who Bella really is and don’t want her to know.  They plan to kill Edward, but Bella begs for his life and they leave him.  I honestly don’t know why James left Edward alive, to be honest.  It would have been simple to kill him and get him out of the way.  J/S  Don’t get me wrong.   I’m glad he didn’t but it would have made more sense giving the personality of James.   Anyway, once Bella is in their vehicle, she gets the first of many injections that renders her unconscious.

Bella wakes up having no idea how much time has passed or where she is at.    She spends much of her time unconscious.  The first time she wakes up, she is given water and crackers by Victoria.  The second time she wakes up and learns that her captor is Stephan Volkov, who is James’s father.  She finds out that Elizabeth was a slave and that Stephan was the one who had her killed.  She learns that Stephan is Emmett’s biological father and that she is currently in Chicago.  Finally, she learns that she is the long lost mafia princess, the principessa.  After her conversation with Stephan, Bella is left alone with James who again tries to assault her, and Bella knees him in the nuts! (GO BELLA!!!!)   This only pisses James off and makes him more determined.  As he is attacking Bella, she scratches the stitches on his face which enough get him off of her, but not before he dislocates her shoulder and duct tapes her mouth and her hands and ankles together.  Victoria returns with food, but is not very friendly towards Bella anymore.

Bella continues to spend her time in and out of consciousness.  She has nightmares and flashbacks with her mother, Edward’s mother and Edward.  She relived horrible things from her past.  Her periods of lucidity become fewer and farther between, and in one of the moments of consciousness, she is asked for the code to the Cullen house.  I have to admire Bella because she would not betray her new family.

As the chapter ends, Bella is trying to hold on, but she is reaching the end of her rope.  She will not give up on Edward saving her because he told her he would never give up on her.

Chapter 70 – EPOV

Yes, Edward fucked up and Carlisle is pissed.   Edward thought he knew what was best and she should have listened to his father.  Edward is finally realizing that he has been working against his father this whole time.  Now Edward is devastated that Bella is gone and the pain of losing her is more agonizing than his injuries from the car accident. 

Edward has a moment, in his distraught state, where he flips out on Alec.  Of course Alec being Alec, throws Edward against the wall and shoves a gun in his side.  When Carlisle defends Edward, Alec turns the gun on him.  Alec is hardcore…you don’t mess with him.  He would kill Edward or Carlisle in heartbeat to protect himself.

Edward is wandering around the house at loose ends while Carlisle and Alec run back and forth between the office and basement.  He finally settles in his room where he is reminded of Bella.  Edward finally does what he has needed to do.  He sits down and cries, sobbing loudly, not caring who hears him.  Your heart is just breaking with his. His heart is more exposed than ever before.  Carlisle interrupts him to tell him that they are leaving for Chicago.  Edward insists on going and Carlisle agrees, but warns Edward to keep his mouth shut and do what he is told.  He also tells Edward that they have Laurent in the basement, and they are trying to get information out of him.  Jacob didn’t make it.  He was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and as much as Edward hated him, he feels really bad because he lost his life trying to help Bella.

Edward, Carlisle and Alec fly to Chicago and arrive and the Evanson’s to a frazzled looking Esme.  Emmett and Rosalie are waiting there for them.  Carlisle sat his laptop in front of Emmett and said he had until morning to have the chip returned to the way it was originally or he would regret it.  Esme is so sweet.  She really is a caretaker, trying to get Edward to take something for the pain or eat something and being there for him with the hugs.

Edward finally gets some well-needed shut-eye and sleeps for 12 hours.  He wakes to find Emmett making some progress on the chip but just can’t get a lock on Isabella’s location.  Just as Emmett yells “Got it!” the FBI shows up with a search warrant and they all find themselves on the ground.  They arrest Carlisle and Alec and confiscate many things from Alec’s house, including the computer with Isabella’s tracking program.  Edward gets mouthy with the FBI agents, tries to get the laptop while they are taking it away and lands himself in jail for having a fake ID.

The next day in jail, Edward is visited by an attorney sent by Esme.  It turns out that Edward is probably going to be there for a couple of days.  This is torture for Edward knowing that he can’t be out there looking for Bella.  After another day or two in jail, Edward is visited by Agent DiFronzo.  Edward refuses to speak but then Agent DiFronzo brings up Isabella and he has dug up a lot of information about Bella while in Forks and tries to get Edward to talk, but he gets nothing.  Poor Edward is trying to hold back the tears when he shows Edward the pictures of him and Bella that was obviously taken from Bella’s scrapbook.

The next day, Esme bails Edward out and she informs him that Carlisle and Alec are being held in the same jail.  It is likely that the charges against Alec will be dropped, but Carlisle – not so much.  While driving home with Esme, Edward comes to the realization that he is going to have to risk everything to save Bella.  He goes to see Aro…..

Edward plays right into Aro’s hands.  He asks for help and of course Aro doesn’t want to help him.  Edward almost blows it by shouting at Aro that Isabella is family.  He covers quickly by telling Aro that  he loves her and is going to marry her, so she has to be something to him.  And this is where Aro has him.  He tells Edward that he chose not be a part of Aro’s family.  “We all have choices to make, and you made yours”.  Edward just wants Bella back so bad, he just does it.  He’s says, “You got it” and tears are in his eyes.  Is this killing you while you are reading this???  Oh, our poor Edward.  He is sacrificing everything to get his girl back.  So Aro makes a few calls,  the Mafioso arrive, and Edward takes the oath.

And that’s that…..(I was thinking of the line in Goodfella’s after they off Tommy)

Chapter 71 – CPOV

Carlisle is reflecting on how he first came into contact with Jacob Black when Edward was ten  years old.  He is remembering Jacob as a cheerful boy, telling jokes.  Just like the older Jacob.  Edward introduced Jacob to his father as his best friend, which was a relief to Carlisle that Edward had a friend to confide in.  Then everything blew up with Jacob, and Edward was an angry young man….until Isabella came along.  She pulled Edward back from the darkness, but Jacob did not have anyone.  I think Carlisle felt really bad and regretted what happened to Jacob.  He blamed himself for being part of this life.  He pushed Jacob’s body over the cliff in LaPush, which made him feel guilty but he had no other choice.

Carlisle returns to the house and goes into the secret room to get information out of Laurent who is wounded from Bella shooting him.  Carlisle refuses to help him until he gives up some information.  After bantering back and forth, and Laurent calling Bella a bitch for shooting him (which pisses Carlisle off) Carlisle leaves him begging in the corner of the room and head back upstairs.  He sees that Edward is a complete emotional wreck, not to mention a physical one as well.  He is thinking about how Edward is so much like himself, taking matters into his own hands, and screwing things up.

Carlisle tries periodically through the night to try to get information from Laurent, but to no avail.  Alec has enough and goes in to torture him a bit and then kill him.  Carlisle has to walk away.  I love when Carlisle says “and his last moments would be pure torture at the hands of one of the scariest motherfuckers that I knew.”  Alec did get it out of the Laurent that it was the Russians that they were dealing with.  They are thinking that the Russians know that she is a principessa della mafia.  Alec takes care of Laurent and they head to Chicago.

They have a sit down with Aro when they arrive in Chicago and basically Aro tells Alec that he is responsible if Bella spills any secrets.  Carlisle doesn’t feel like she knows enough for it to be a concern.  They return to the Evanson’s and shortly thereafter are raided by the FBI.  Carlisle’s time spent in jail was excruciatingly slow.  While he is there, he is visited by Special Agent DiFronzo.  Shockingly,  DiFronzo presents him with Isabella’s journal which portrays Carlisle in a bad light.  He also knows about the GPS program and begins to question what Carlisle is tracking with it.  Carlisle gives up nothing and after Esme gathers up bail money for him and Alec, he is released.  Esme tells Carlisle that Edward took the oath while he was in jail.  Carlisle can’t accept it and is reminded by Alec that he once did the same thing because he believed it was the only way to save the woman that he loved.

Aro calls and wants to see Carlisle and Alec.  Meahwhile, Edward hasn’t been seen in three days so nobody knows exactly what he is up to.  Carlisle has 48 hours before he has to surrender himself to get fitted with an ankle monitor.  So they need to move fast before Carlisle moves are being watched.

They meet with Aro who shares the “good news” about Edward.  Carlisle is hoping for loophole that will get Edward out, but the oath is complete and the only way out is death.  Aro shares that he still refuses to get involved with Isabella’s kidnapping, even after Edward took the oath.  Carlisle is ready to fly off the handle, but luckily Alec is there to temper him and get him out of there before he does something stupid.  “You must truly have a death wish” Alec mutters.  (foreshadowing anyone?)

Carlisle and Alec head over to Royce’s house to try to figure out where they might be.  They find Clara (the slave from Phoenix) there and she expresses her concern about Isabella.  They assure her that the reason they are there is to find Bella.  After going through Royce’s office and speaking with Emmett on the phone, they determine that they are in Highland Park.  Those of us that live here in Chicago can tell you that it is pretty far north of the city.  So Carlisle and Alec head for an industrial area of Highland Park, and try Royce and Edward’s phones a few times, but they are not answering.  They arrive at the location and spot James’s car.  They spot Catalano, a kid from the organization who fell in with James and they threaten him to find out what they want to know.  Isabella is in that building – or least she was.  As they are interrogating Catalano, another car pulls up with it’s lights off and it’s Edward and Royce.  Edward is about to walk right in there to get Isabella but Carlisle stops him before he does.  After Edward beats the crap out of Catalano because of Bella, they send him in to tell James he go jumped by thugs.  Meanwhile, Carlisle and Edward cover the back door and Royce and Alec get the front.  As Edward and Carlisle are heading to the back door, Edward asked his father if he is pissed at him Carlisle is – of course.  Edward starts going into his explanation of why he had to do it but his father tells him that now is not the time.  The back door flies open and a gunfight ensues.  Carlisle and Edward are both hit but not fatally.  Carlisle takes out James (YAY Carlisle!!!)  Alec is hit too and it is serious.  Carlisle tells him he needs to get to a hospital. 

Edward finds Bella, who now looks more like the slave girl he had brought from Phoenix a year ago, than the healthy girl from a few weeks ago.  Bella is in bad shape, dehydrated and bruised.  Her pulse is weak and she is not waking up.  Edward is pleading with the unconscious  Isabella to stay with him because he can’t survive without her.  Carlisle’s heart goes out to his son and he promises to do what he can for her.  Alec says he will get himself to a hospital, even though he is clearly too weak to do so.  He is all business despite his injury, urging Carlisle to call Aro to get the mess cleaned up.   Bella’s finally opens her eyes, but as Carlisle is calling Aro,  he sees Alec slumped over in the doorway, and Isabella’s starts seizing. .  Aro is on the line and asks Carlisle if everything is okay, and the chapter ends when Carlisle responds with “No.  It’s not okay.”

We are almost there tesoros!!!! 

Just a few more chapters to go. 

 Aren’t you glad you are hanging in there with us? 

This story is an amazing roller coaster ride.  

 Here is the breakdown of the rest of the read along…..

August 26- Chapters 72-75 

September 2- Chapters 76-78 

September 9- Chapters 79-Epi(which is 81)

September 16- Outtakes 

September 23- The Alec Novella

See you in the Comments.....

EP Read Along Week 23 Chapters 66-68

Hey girls I feel like it's been forever since I last did a post for the read along, let's not waste any time and just jump right in shall we?

Chapter 66 EPOV
After Edward and Jacobs confrontation at the game and Edward saying things he shouldn't Bella slaps him and runs. Edward doesn't truly understand why she ran. He believes it's just because she's scared of his reaction, but its more than that. When he can't find her he heads to Dimitri's house where the after party is because he's run out of ideas of places to look. Alice calls and fesses up that Bella is in La Push with Jacob. This knowledge sets Edward off. He beats the shit out of his car and when the physical pain from that act doesn't override the emotional pain he's feeling he gets some drugs from Ben. But as it turns out Jessica becomes the voice of reason. She explains to him that he's changed since Bella. He is actually happy and she knows that if he turns to the drugs he won't be. Edward finally realizes she's right and leaves, not before running into Alice who lays into him.

When Edward gets home he asks Carlisle to go down to La Push and get Bella. His response "She's free." Edward comes to the realization that she can be on her own now and he won't always be there to protect her. Edward finds his mothers diary in the library, he realizes Bella's been reading it and knows what happened. She is likely blaming herself and Edwards hurtful words come back to him "You don't know what I've fucking lost because of you."

He runs out of the house with Carlisle hot on his trail. When reaches the beach he is eventually able to comfort Bella. She explains that she went to Jacob because he is understanding and just lets her vent, not like Edward who tells her "Don't say things like that." When she expresses regret for ever being born.

Chapter 67 BPOV
Bella finally finds out Elizabeth was a slave, not only a slave but the Evanson's slave!

She receives her grade for her GED and passed. Then all hell breaks loose!!

Heidi the bitch nurse from the hospital shows up. She is banging on the door, ringing the bell, shouting for Bella the 'stupid little slave girl' to open up. Bella calls Carlisle and he tells her to call Edward. One problem... Edward is in the middle of taking the SAT and has his phone off. Bella's only option for help is to call the last person Edward would ever want her to call, Jacob.

Jacob agrees to get Edward from his test and bring him home. Bella breathes a sigh of relief knowing that Edward is coming but relaxes even more when Heidi leaves. She is in the middle of calling Jacob to just say 'Forget it, don't get Edward, everything is fine.' when she looks out the window and sees James! When Jacob answers his phone the only thing Bella can manage to get out is "Hurry."

Chapter 68 EPOV
Edward is taking his test, not focusing just itching to leave to get to Bella. When it's finally over and he is on his way out he stops to chat with Jessica for a second about college (Probably because he feels he owes her after she talked him out of doing that line of coke.)

Jacob shows up and Edward irrationally starts a fight with him. When Jake can finally get the words out Edward knows there's something wrong and takes off for home.

When he gets there he sees that Heidi is gone and Bella's okay. Jacob pulls up, Edward and Bella go out to talk to him. Carlisle calls Edward and as they are speaking a shot rings out!

Found on Tumblr. All credit to owner, whoever you are :)

Jacob falls to the ground, with a shot to the chest. Another shot rings out as Edward is diving on top of Bella to shield her. The both of them manage to make it into the car and get the hell out. Not before Bella takes a bullet to the arm.

A black SUV pursues them down the streets of Forks. They are rear ended and careen into some trees, Edward blacks out.

.

.

.

When Edward finally wakes up Carlisle is there by the car. He's asking about Bella but Edward doesn't know where she is. Edward just knows James has her.

Laurent is lying on the road with a gunshot wound, not fatal. Carlisle didn't shoot him, Edward didn't, who then?

Carlisle wants to get home and get a lock on Bella's chip.

Edward fucked up... OH BOY DID HE FUCK UP!

So lots of exciting things happening. These chapters were pretty intense. Who saw Jacob getting shot coming? I know I didn't! What surprised you the most from these chapters? We're getting to the nitty gritty now! So come on lurkers, let us know what you think. Love it, hate it, want to quit, ready to plow through to the end?

There are quite a few chapters left before we are finished with this story but let me give you a run down of how the next few weeks will play out.

August 19- Chapters 69-71 

August 26- Chapters 72-75 

September 2- Chapters 76-78 

September 9- Chapters 79-Epi(which is 81)

September 16- Outtakes 

September 23- The Alec Novella

Catch you in the comments!

EP Read Along Week 22 Chapters 63-65

Hi Gals!!!  It’s me, Naughty Hisbella!  I’m back to guide you through Chapters 63-65.  These are so far the most dramatic and eye opening chapters yet!!!

We’re going to learn a lot!!!  I have over 20 pages of notes to prove it!  I’m nothing if not thorough!  So, without further ado….Let’s get Edward’s POV on what happened in Phoenix!

Chap. 63:

Edward has just dropped Bella at the hotel with Esme.  He’s gone to the bank and withdrawn a huge some of cash to pay for Renee.   Edward is thinking back on the day they had yesterday and how he is still upset with Charles for calling Bella his daughter.  He feels like he only did it because of Edward’s involvement with her; that Bella is now valuable to him because of Edward’s love.   He’s proud of Bella and her actions at Lawyer’s office, telling Charles off, even though she was terrified.  She’s not a legal citizen in the eyes of the government.  It was heartbreaking for him to see Bella and Renee.  He realizes Bella wasn’t whole without her mother and she needs her.  He left them to themselves and becomes angry in the house remembering what our girl told him happened there.  He believes its Charles’ fault that Renee and Bella are so devastated.  Alec tells Edward he had better calm down, or he’ll have to take Bella and leave.  Edward doesn’t want to do that to her, so he tries.  He still makes rude comments to Charles, knowing there is nothing the man (used loosely here!) could do about it.  He already got his ‘pass’ from Carlisle the night his parents were ‘murdered.’  Jane was not seen, but he could hear her stomping around.  He wants her to pay for what she has done to Bella.

He thinks about how he was nervous to meet Renee, and wanting her approval.  He knows Bella loves and trusts him, but she would want Renee’s blessing.  He didn’t try to be anyone he wasn’t and wanted her Mother to know he’d keep Bella safe and do right by her.  Renee surprised him when she brought up Elizabeth and was fearful Bella would hear things he’d been keeping from her.  When it was time to eat, he was angry about Charles’ rules, how skinny Bella was when she arrived and how she wouldn’t eat with them.  Alec finds it amusing when he tells him he’s going to feed them and proceeds to watch him make sandwiches.  He shocks the “Cook” by thanking her for her help and even makes her one.  Edward tells Charles if he wants to beat someone’s ass for the food to go after him.  He asks Alec to reiterate that the slaves are not to be punished for Edward’s actions.  The day passes and before they leave, Edward asks Alec to help Renee.  We learn that Elizabeth came to him after his Grandfather’s funeral and asked him to help Isabella.  He told her no, it wasn’t his business or place to do anything.  Alec wonders if he had just tried if things would have been different.  He owed Edward’s mother that much and he never made it up to her.  It was the only time she ever asked him for anything.  Alec agrees to letting Renee live in his house.  His vouching for Bella could be his death sentence, so anything else is just extra.  Edward thanks him, but Alec tells him to thank Elizabeth.  She’s probably watching and hoping they don’t ‘royally fuck this all up.”

When Edward arrives back at the Swan house, Renee emerges.  It is clear she has been harmed.  She has a bruise resembling a hand around her throat and other marks on her body.  He becomes enraged; He knows Jane did this because Charles was with them all morning.  He tells Renee he is going to kill Jane for doing this.  She keeps calling him “Sir” and pleads with him to not make a scene.  Edward tells her it is wrong to call him Sir, that one day she will be his Mother-in-law, if that’s what Bella wants.  She’s surprised and realizes he really does love her daughter.  She tells him that Elizabeth was kind and used to say that there was a whole different world out there for Bella.  Bella was special and destined for more.  Edward agrees with what Elizabeth said and that makes Renee happy.   She tells him she noticed the changes in her daughter and that he saved her, but Edward corrects her by saying Bella saved him.   Renee asks that he keep her away from the Swan’s, keep her safe and let her live.  He promises but before he can tell her what Alec & He are planning, Alec comes out and scares her away.  Jane’s screaming in the house about Alec about vouching for Bella.  She calls her a bitch and that infuriates Edward.  Alec requests he calm down, it’s his situation to deal with.  Jane emerges and verbally goes after Alec, asking what Charles signed this morning.  She tells him he used to be smart. She asks Alec if it was about “Her”.  Alec doesn’t like to be confronted or questioned on his actions.  He’s about to lose it.  He warns her to shut up, but she continues.  She tells him he is ruining her life, that Bella & Renee are just slaves that don’t matter.  When she says, “Just because the Cullen’s fall in love…”  Alec loses it!  He grabs her by the throat and throws her against the house, choking her.  While she struggles, he asks if she’s done and when she nods he lectures her on their treatment of Renee.  Edward is frightened because this is Alec’s own flesh and blood he is choking.(Bad Ass, Alec!!!)  Charles comes out telling him to stop that he’ll kill Jane.  Before Edward can figure out what to do, they hear a scream.  Alec and Edward run for the barn with Jane yelling at Alec.  She says just because he is doing the same thing as his father, they are not the same.  {places pinky on bottom lip “Interesting.”} She says Isabella is not Elizabeth, which causes Edward to pause.  He runs in to Alec, who shoves him in the barn.  What they find there is chilling.  Edward starts to feel sick but Alec orders him to get a grip.  There are more screams from one of the slaves.

On the ground is an overturned stool, a pair of feet hanging a few inches from it.  Edward grabs the legs and pushes up to save her, as Alec orders the slave away.  Alec finds a pair of garden shears and cuts the rope.  Edward falls to the ground and gently lays Renee’s body next to him on the ground.  He begins CPR and yells for Alec to help.  Jane & Charles are there yelling.  Alec tries to move Edward but he shrugs him off.  Alec tells him it’s done, she’s gone.  Edward is frantic and angry saying they are wrong.  He calls Alec a liar when he tells him there is nothing they can do.   Edward tells Jane & Charles it is their fault she is dead, they did this.  Jane makes remarks about him and his father, that Renee was just a slave.  Alec warns Edward to watch himself, but he screams that they killed a Principessa and Aro will kill them when he finds out.  He tells them he’ll do it himself, if Aro doesn’t.  Jane flips out and grabs a shovel going after Edward.  Alec pulls his gun and shoots his own sister in the heart.  She takes one last staggering swing and hits Edward in the shoulder blade.  Alec shoots her between the eyes.  Charles runs for Jane and Alec shoots him too.  As Edward tries to gain his bearings, Alec calls in the incident at the Swan house to who we believe is Aro.  He tells them that Bella and Edward are at the hotel and he takes full responsibility for what has occurred. He explains the reason Bella & Edward are there is to finalize her citizenship, which has been done.  When he hangs up, Alec glares at Edward scaring him.  Alec tells him he divulged a secret and what had to be done is done.  Edward is flabbergasted by Alec’s actions.  Alec reiterates that he is his nephew; his sister was going to attack him so he protected his family.  Jane & Charles made their beds and now they must lie in them.  Even though Charles knew Alec was buying Renee, he still allowed his wife to harm her anyway, thus securing his own death sentence.  He says Jane’s punishment was a long time coming.  He didn’t like killing them, but whether Edward had divulged the secret or not they’d earned their fate.  HOLY SHIT PEOPLE!!!!

Edward must go back to the Hotel and break Isabella’s heart.  The one thing he said he’d never do.  Alec tells him he’s too irrational, reacts by emotion and not logic.  Maybe now he’ll realize he doesn’t know everything.   Not knowing if Bella will want to bury her Mother, Alec buries her in a grave in the woods.  Edward again thanks him and Alec tells him not to because things rarely go as they plan, Elizabeth’s death is testament to that.  He tells Edward to stop dwelling, he needs to go take care of Bella.  It’s the best way to honor both their mothers.  Edward arrives at the hotel and Bella asks for her Mother.  He hesitates and she knows.  She loses it and thrashes against him, devastated by the news.  He wants to take away her pain.  He doesn’t even have the words to explain to her what happened when she asks.  He realizes Renee’s last words to him were just that; her last words.  If he had realized sooner, he maybe could have saved her. The two of them lay there all night, not sleeping or saying anything. The next day, Esme & Alec are at the house and Edward takes Bella there.  Esme tells Edward it’s not his fault.  She knows he blamed himself for his mother’s death and they didn’t do enough to tell him it wasn’t.  She urges him to keep telling Bella it’s not her fault.  He tells Esme it’s not fair.  She said the same thing to Alec.  Her Husband made her realize Renee’s life may not have been her own, but her death was.  She made her decision and saw it through.  They can never take that from Renee.  After letting Bella have some time at Renee’s grave, Esme tells Edward they are wrong about Renee never getting a chance to live, but she did.  She lives on in Bella and always will.  (Side note: This is so true.  I believe my Brother lives on in my two beautiful nieces everyday.)

Bella is barely speaking, eating and sleep is fleeting for both.  They return to Forks.  The Borgata has left and Carlisle is still alive.  Bella goes to bed and when Edward follows her, she’s not in their room.  He finds her in her old room.  He holds her and tells her it’s not her fault and he’ll never stop loving her.  They both changed, were slightly broken and less naïve.  He has to believe they will come out the other side ok.

Chapter 64:

Carlisle’s POV.  Finally some answers!!!

9 days have past.  Carlisle is distracted from his Hospital and “Family” work by Edward’s incessant pacing outside his office door and Bella’s deteriorating state.  She sits alone in the library reading, but most nights in the dark, staring blankly out the window.  Doc is concerned that Edward is letting her slip away from him.  He knows they want to confide in each other but are afraid.  Carlisle is afraid if he makes the wrong move with either of them, the whole life he set up for himself and his family will be destroyed.  He’s afraid most that Edward will be the fuel to the ‘nuclear bomb.’  He’d been given a full report of everything and what his son saw in Phoenix.  Doc wants to tell the pair everything but is afraid they can’t handle it.  He admits to lying, cheating and killing for the Borgata.  Even against them as of late and he’s not stupid to think they don’t know.  He’s concerned Aro cannot see a greater threat….James.  He is positive that James has something to do with the ‘rat’ in the organization, selling them out to the justice department and other rival families.  Carlisle knows he is after him and also Isabella.  James knows too much.  He tried to goad Doc into talking about her when they came to clean the house.  James could hurt Edward and Bella.   This was one of the reasons Alec wanted to get Bella legalized. Since Alec vouched for her, Carlisle no longer ‘owns’ her.  Alec does and he calls all the shots regarding Isabella Swan.  Alec is unhappy because since the incident, he is being held in reverence and watched more.  Alec prefers to do his job without any fanfare.  Carlisle is disappointed but not surprised by Renee’s death.  In a different world, Renee would have been treated as royalty as a Principessa.  Elizabeth once told him that ‘not everyone lives, but everyone dies and with it comes release.’  He understood why Renee killed herself.  She was released from her burdens and Bella would be okay.  She had to find her own peace now.  He envies her that.  He notices the changes in Edward.  Normally he would have burst in to the office without regard to anything, but now he was patient and persistent; his irrationality and volatile behavior calmed.

Edward finally comes in and Doc is relieved.  Edward takes notice of how terrible Carlisle looks, joking that it looked like he hadn’t slept or eaten in days.  Carlisle deflects to the real reason his son is there.  They banter back and forth – Edward showing him a bit of his sarcastic self.  Edward asks about Jane’s comments in Phoenix.  He wants the truth.

7/12/80 – Carlisle is in Arizona.  He hates the heat, but the things happening in the mansion even more.  He thinks about his Father’s near constant railing on him to grow up, act like a Cullen, and finally do something right.  He’s happy his Father is occupied but damn it he wanted his sunglasses.  They were improper and would send the wrong message.  He didn’t want to be there, but couldn’t let his sister down.  His Father, Antonio Cullen, Current Don of the Chicago Mafia, thought he was clearly a fuck up so he didn’t waste time trying to impress him.  Because of their ‘life style’ and need for secrecy, Esme was his best friend, his only confidant.  It was her day; he’d give her peace and obedience.  (Really?  Obedience?  What’s up with that??)

He moves to find some shade from the Arizona sun.  He collides with something and instinctively grabs on to them.  In front of him is a vision in white with pale glowing skin, copper hair and deep green eyes.  He’s transfixed by her!   ELIZABETH!!!!!  He tells her she is beautiful, which she bristles at.  He realizes she is probably Irish and his Father was going to kill him, but wants her.  There was an electric feeling and an ache in his chest.  (Sound familiar???  Yea, Baby!)  She charms him and tells him despite what he says; she can see he is nice.  He tells her God blessed her and she jokes “If he truly blessed me, would I be at this house?”  They talk about their luck in meeting and she says it’s Fate.  This is Esme & Alec’s Engagement party.  Carlisle is 15.  (Edward wonders why an Irish girl with Alec’s family is at a party for two Italians.)

Carlisle and Elizabeth sit together in the heat.  Elizabeth is on alert at any noise.  She tells him to go inside if he’s hot.  He asks her to join him and she says it wouldn’t be good.  They reach for the same clump of grass and POW!  Sparks fly.  They test it out again.  Electricity between them.  She comments on lightning storms and it hits Carlisle.  Love at first sight. Culpo di fulmine.  He tells her about the “thunderbolt” but is hesitant to say the word love.  She seems to understand and touches him.  They share their first kiss.  He asks her who she is but before she can answer, Crazy Janie appears.  She asks what Elizabeth is doing and Carlisle tells her “Go away you fuckin’ loon…” (Gotta love him!!!) Jane corrects him saying she is talking to Elizabeth.  The girl stammers and Jane tells her to leave, she’ll be punished later for her actions.  Elizabeth mumbles a “Yes, Mistress.”  WELL I’LL BE!!!  SHE’S A SLAVE.  WTF!  OH MY GOD.

Edward asks again why she was there and Carlisle has a hard time saying the word so he tell him she was “the help.”  His son is confused – was she a maid? A waitress?  He tells his father it was illegal to work at 15.  Carlisle tells him not legal and not paid.  Edward goes ballistic.  He yells “Seriously?  It’s fucking true??”   He forces his father to say she was a slave.  Carlisle admits he didn’t have a clue because Alec’s mother had suck a stick up her ass (I love this!) that even the slaves looked perfect.  Edward realizes that was probably why his mother was afraid of Alec.  Is that why Alec feels he owes her, because of her life in that house?  Edward is about to blow, angry that it was kept from him.  Carlisle is short on patience now too.  He finally gets Edward to sit down and listen.  He asks when was a good time to tell him; age 2? Age 8? After his mother’s death?   Edward wants to know if he thought any of them had a right to know what their mother was?  This makes Doc snap.  He tells him that was not who Elizabeth was.  He recounts Edward telling Bella about her living a certain life and that not being who she was.  TOUCHE’, DOC! TOUCHE’!  He explains that Elizabeth did not want to be defined by the past she couldn’t change.  She wanted to be seen as a wife, mother and strong woman.  She wasn’t ashamed but didn’t want the boys to associate that with her.  It was her choice and Carlisle respected it and let her have the future.  Some people don’t understand you have to follow your heart sometimes and Carlisle tried to make it easier for them because of the hell He and Elizabeth went through.  Edward now knows why Carlisle wanted Bella ‘main streamed’ into the world because of the mistakes he made with his mother.  Edward realizes why Bella reminds him of his Mother.  Carlisle admits she reminds him too.

Elizabeth returns and hands Carlisle a drink.  He asks what it is – her specialty.  A Homemade Cherry Coke.

8/9/81 – 16 years of age – Carlisle

He storms into the Evanson’s Chicago home.  He’s angry.  Alec appears from another room and Carlisle confronts him.  He asks how Alec could have left Elizabeth alone, unprotected.  He can’t believe he left her with those men – knowing that they saw her as a toy, a piece of meat dangling and turned his back on her.  Carlisle tells Alec he owes Elizabeth – to make it up to her, repay her because it is on Alec. 

Elizabeth’s Rape!

Carlisle takes her in his arms and tells her he is proud she fought back and nothing like that will ever happen again – he promises.

1/5/83

Carlisle wakes alone and gets worried that Elizabeth is not beside him.  He finds her in the kitchen and startles her.  She has begun to lose her sense of everything and everyone around her – he is unsure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Elizabeth has made him an Italian Cream Cake.   She tells him it’s her favorite.  He says it’s his too now.  She wishes him a Happy Birthday.

10/1/96

Carlisle is in his office listening to choppy piano music, musing to himself how the off key music should be coming at the hands of the 8 year old and not Elizabeth.  His son is a prodigy.  He goes out to the den and sees Edward teaching his Mom “Twinkle Twinkle Litte Star.”  When she still gets it wrong, she laughs and asks him to just play for her.  Edward begins “The Funeral March” by Chopin.  It sends chills down Doc’s spine.  He’d be happy when the recital was done and he wouldn’t have to hear it anymore.

Edward can’t believe what he is hearing – he wants to know if that was why his mom wanted to save Bella?  She’d been there, she’d been her.  Carlisle explains that his Mother wanted to save Bella while she was still innocent before reality broke her.  She felt if she could save Bella, it would make up for her past.  Never erase it.  We find out Emmett was something good from a rape and she was raped.  The men who had attacked her were handled by Antonio.  Grandma Cullen didn’t accept Elizabeth because she was not only a slave, but an Irish Slave.  Antonio was more compassionate.  She was born in Ireland, given up by a teenaged, incapable mother.  She was adopted at age 2 from an orphanage.  At age 6, her father owed the Irish Mafia money and could not pay.  So the Mob kidnapped her as collateral from their Chicago home.  They could not pay for her, so they were killed.  She was kept in the basement of a connected home which was raided by the Borgata and taken.  She spent years bouncing from home to home as a servant until she ended up at the Evanson’s.  Carlisle met her and after being persuaded by Antonio that it was the only way to keep her safe, he joined and vouched for her that same night.  It wasn’t an easy road and after her attack, he tried to run with her.  Carlisle promises to tell Emmett and Jasper the first chance he gets, but Edward needs to tell Bella.  Better coming from him.  He gives his son all of her citizenship and inheritance papers.  Charles left everything to her.  They agree it would not be good for Bella to take the slaves, which makes Edward realize what Carlisle has done.  Carlisle agrees his wife would have been ashamed.  He finally gets a chance to explain the circumstances of the previous slaves.  Nonna volunteered, Aro agreed saying she was getting old and wanted to get rid of her.  He saved her.  James forced Janet on him and he killed her because she was a threat.  They talk a little about Phoenix but Edward won’t open up.  They talk about Bella’s birthday and that she is now free to do and go as she pleases.  Edward tells Doc that’s one hell of a gift to give her; he corrects him and tells him it’s what she is entitled to.  Carlisle then shows Edward where Bella is and that she’s been there for the last nine evenings.  Edward was so absorbed in his issues, he had no idea Bella was falling so far apart.  Edward goes to her.  We are left with Carlisle remembering his wedding night with Elizabeth.  He tells her he wouldn’t know how to live with out her.  He’s counting the days until they are together again.  Fate.

Chapter 65:

Bella sits staring out the window in the library into a black dreary night.  She feels empty, black and ugly.  A part of her is missing and to her, she is feeling almost dead.  Not because of the loss of her Mother, but the knowledge of something equally heartbreaking.   With this information, she feels like everything is her fault.  If she hadn’t been born, none of this would have happened.  She’s ruined so many lives with her existence.  It’s her Birthday and Anniversary of the day everyone’s lives changed.  She feels that no one, especially the man she loves, will understand that there is nothing to celebrate about this day.

She knows Edward slips out at night, but where he goes and what he does is still a mystery.  She doesn’t know all the details of what happened in Phoenix, but that Edward witnessed it all.  She believes that is why he’s having issues.  Edward startles her at the door of the library and she prays he won’t ask her why she’s not in bed.  He would never understand.  They snuggle into bed and he wishes her a Happy Birthday.  The next morning, she wakes to Edward, a honey bun and a candle.  She still loves him and even though she feels dead, he is still her life. They bicker about her not wanting to celebrate, but he tells her the day is still special and should be treated as such.  She quickly blows out the candle, not knowing she’s supposed to make a wish.  Edward tells her she can have a do over with Alice and Jasper in Seattle that night.  He gives her the poem he recites in Italian in a frame.  She loves it, knowing how much thought he put into it.  After finishing her honey bun, she goes downstairs and runs in to Carlisle.  He wishes her a Happy Birthday.  She heads back up to the bedroom just in time for Edward to drop his towel.  He’s looking for some action.  She’s still affected by him.  She sidesteps and heads to the shower.  Edward is waiting for her in the bathroom, wanting her to talk to him.  She keeps telling him she’s fine.  He reminds her she can tell him anything.  Bella promised him complete honesty and she’s lying to him.  Everything is different now; knowing what she knows.  Edward gives her the paperwork, explaining that she is free and that she has inherited the Swan’s money and property.  She can’t believe it’s hers.  He tells her she can do whatever she wants but he’d burn the house and all the Swan’s belongings.  Edward eases her worry over “Clara” (the cook!) and the other slaves, telling her that Alec has taken them.  One is living with Esme and Alec,  two are with Aro.  She doesn’t want any of it, but Edward convinces her that she deserves it for everything she has been through.  It will give her a life.  He tells her that Dr. Cullen no longer ‘owns’ her and she can do as she pleases.  SHE’S FREE! 

In Italian, he tells her he will love her for the rest of his life, there is no one else to him, he doesn’t deserve her and he will spend the rest of his life making her happy.  OH EDWARD!!!

Then…he proposes.

She can’t believe he wants to marry her.  She agrees and is overwhelmed.  She’s been freed and asked to officially spend the rest of her life with him.  They make love and she feels alive again.  Deep down she knows it won’t last though.  They get ready and head to Seattle.  Neither saying much on the way.  Alice has a cake and presents even though she didn’t want her birthday acknowledged.   She gets her do over and wishes that when everything is said and done they will be okay.  She opens presents from Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper.  Esme and Alec have sent her a reliquary box to keep her treasures in.  She remarks that Edward won’t fit and he jokes back that even his dick won’t fit!  The design on the top represents love and luck.  The couples discuss Edward’s plans for next year and he tells them he doesn’t care as long as Bella marries him.  Jasper is shocked and Alice is annoyed he didn’t do it the right way.  Bella explains it was perfect for her and she doesn’t need a ring and all that stuff.  Once they go to bed, Edward tells her about the cameras and he knows she sits in the library and walks around like a zombie when he’s not there.  He’s hurt she’s lied to him.  She waits for the moment when he walks away, realized he was wrong about her, when he’ll declare she’s not worth it.  She feels if he knew what she did, he’d hate her as much as she hates herself.  {Sobbing here!}

She thinks about the day after they returned from Phoenix.  Bella was looking for something to distract her when Edward was gone.  She needed a whole different world to get lost in. (Been there!!!  The Saga was my place when my Brother was dying.  Fan Fic is my go to now.)  She finds a well worn leather book that she’d passed up other times.  It was the Diary of Elizabeth Cullen!!!  Bella sees her name and reads one single passage over and over.  She was who Edward’s Mother was trying to save.  She was the reason she was dead.  Bella believes if Edward knew he’d realize she wasn’t worth it.  Bella had come to terms with Renee’s suicide.  She believed her Mother was at peace and free, looking down on her as an Angel.  Edward’s Mother’s death was caused by her and she could never change it.  Elizabeth wrote of Edward & Bella’s first meeting on her birthday.  Carlisle wouldn’t allow her to bring anything but they snuck in some chocolate.  Elizabeth said that it was cute seeing them together.  Carlisle told her she was becoming too attached and they couldn’t come see Isabella anymore.  Elizabeth wrote that she loved Izzy as if she were her own and would never give up on her.  She believed it was fate that she met Isabella Swan.  She couldn’t save the world, but she would save that little girl.  She felt Izzy was destined to be a part of her family.  Edward and Isabella were supposed to be in each other’s lives.  She would die for her children, including Isabella.  Edward continued to hold her as she thought about what she knew.  He continues to tell her he’s never giving up on her and wants her to talk to him.  She wants to but she is ashamed and afraid.  She feels guilty and cannot break his heart by telling him.  She feels guilt that she was the reason he almost died too.  Bella feels that even if Edward could forgive her, she possibly couldn’t forgive herself.   Bella leaves the bed every night shamed to be sleeping beside the man whose life she ruined.  She falls to sleep and dreams of their first meeting.  She thinks if he only knew what would happen, what a threat she was to him.  He was unsure of being her friend.  They had their first kiss that day – she was confused between a kiss and a Hershey’s kiss. (AWWWW!)  She recalls the anger and hatred he said he felt for the person who caused Elizabeth’s death.  He would regret letting her into his life.

After returning home, the week passed.  They were having issues.  Bella’s emptiness and shame forcing her away, Edward’s angry and spiteful.  She tried to continue to hope they’d get past it and everything would be alright.  Friday morning, he reminds her of his football game that evening.  She affirms she will be there making him happy. Bella cleans the disaster that is Edward’s bedroom and makes plans to meet with Alice at the game.  She was anxious driving and thinking of the crowd.  After she parks, Jacob startles her.  They bicker but he walks with her to make sure the Skank Trio (Tanya, Lauren & Jessica) don’t mess with her.  Jacob has a heated exchange with the three about Edward and his leftovers.  He tells them he wouldn’t mind a replay of the show they gave Edward.(Infamous girl on girl.)  Bella watches the game with Alice and then waits for Edward.  Jacob stops to tell her a joke.  Edward goes ballistic telling Jake to stay away from Bella.  Jacob wants Edward to let Bella go, this angers him more and he attacks Jacob.  Once the boys are pulled apart, Edward wants to know why she’s talking to Jacob.  Was she trying to hurt him?  He lets go of all his hurt and anger, asking her why Jake and not him.  She tries to convince him she loves him and wants only him.  He spits out that he changed his whole life for her, would die for her.  Why can She laugh and smile for Jacob, but won’t even look at him.  She stammers and he takes it that she won’t.  He tells her that she doesn’t understand what he’s given up and dealt with to be with her.  Then he unloads the big guns…What he LOST because of her.  She is angry and pained, those words tearing her apart.  She slaps him across the face, stunning him.  He tries to approach her but she’s scared and runs to her car.  After nearly hitting another car, she drives off.  Deciding she can’t go to the house, she drives to La Push.  She is unsure if he truly knows she’s the reason his Mother is dead.  She pulls up next to the cliffs and tries to figure out who to talk to.  She instinctively calls Jake, who tells her not to move.  He’ll find her.  When Jake shows up he’s afraid she’s going to jump.  After reassuring him she’s not, she tells him her birthday was the previous week.  He wishes her a belated, but she tells him there is nothing happy about the day she was born…..

I apologize if this was too long.  These chapters were beasts in every sense of the word.  Tell me what you think of everything that we learned and has happened.  Now we’re cooking with gas gals!!! 

Next week with Mafiaward….chapters 66-68

Naughty Hisbella