E! Live from the Eclipse Red Carpet

Dear Rob,

I don't mean to single you out but I just had to do it. You were funny, charming, adorkable, and really hot. When I was watching Ben Lyons and Jason Kennedy blather on and on about all the Twi-crap I love, I couldn't help but yell at my computer... "WTF... Go back to Rob walking the red carpet!!!"

Yes I really did yell at my computer. So anyway, you were really funny when the guys were interviewing you. I absolutley loved when Jason Kennedy told you they were filming live and you had a look of slight terror on your face. Oh you can be so adorable without even trying. When asked why people are so obsessed with you, you said we would know by sleeping with you, well uh I nearly fainted. I was slightly confused but didn't care because my brain ran somewhere else (really fun and really dirty) at the thought of sleeping with you.

Rob you just can't say stuff like that when us Twihard/Robward/RPattz fans are listening. It's quite cruel... don't you think? In all fairness to you they did tell you it was a live interview after you gave them that little tidbit. But I'm also very curious as to which nickname you prefer... do you like RPattz, Robward, Robbie P, Mr. Huge Sparkle Peen, Taylor Lautner? Seriously though which do you prefer?

Now on to some serious questions. What were you wearing today? I get that you could make anything look good, and you do. Ugh come on though... can I just point out that you are missing just a few things like a Seinfeld puffy shirt, horrible hair and a pair of black glasses and you could be

I'm sooo sorry Rob.. but gah. Sometimes you need to think before you buy. Although I am ripping on your choice of suit... I still think you look really HOT (and I'm kinda conflicted about it)

So I was thinking. I'm an out of work college graduate and you are a man in need. Please let's try to keep our minds out of the gutter or not. I could be everything you need all in one. You need someone to tell you when you will walk out of the house looking like Austin Powers (no baby very un gerr). This might surprise you but I have worked security before, and really there is nothing like the art of surprise to get the drop on someone. I also know how to cook, clean, sew and keep organized (the last two would have helped with your missing Stoli shirt) along with many many other talents. I have heard you say in the past that you do not like to have an entourage. Well I could solve your problem. I am everything in one. So how about it Rob... I think I would be of great service to you ;)

One last thing. I just want to point out. You can do something different with the clothes you wear without going too far overboard. See

                                                Jackson

                                                      or

                                                    Alex

Well Rob I just want you to think about what I have said today... and I really hope you had a blast at the red carpet premiere with your girlfriend friends.

Sincerely,

Kassie