Friday, May 27, 2011

EP Read Along Week 13 Chapters 36-38

EP Read Along Week 13, Chapters 36, 37, 38
     Hi mia bella ragazza!
Welcome back and thank you to all those who are sticking with us as
 we continue to dig into this long, yet wonderful story.  

Chapter 36:  Edward POV chapters are always my favorites. In this one Edward digs back and tells us some of his history.  It’s Christmas and Edward tells us that after his mother died he just became this closed off person, creating walls to protect himself from any further hurt. And so until Bella came into his life, he never enjoyed Christmas or really allowed himself to enjoy anything that might remind him of how happy life was when his mother was alive.
We learn that his aunt Esme came to live with the Cullen boys after Elizabeth’s death. Carlisle couldn’t deal with his pain and feelings. He’s  feeling guilty that he should have somehow been able to protect Elizabeth, and so, he too shuts down and leaves his children to deal with their hurt themselves. After some time passes, Esme is the one that pulls him out of his dark place, enough so he takes over parenting his boys. But Edward never really recovers from watching his mother get shot and killed, and not even his loving aunt can help heal his pain.
It’s Bella that starts Edward on the road to healing.
This is Bella’s first Christmas where she is able to be part of a family and Edward wants to help make it special for her.  He takes her Christmas shopping, something he hates to do, but he wants Bella to experience the thrill of it. Because Edward is with her, Bella manages to get past the fear of being around crowds and ends up having a great time buying thoughtful presents for everyone.
Which ones did you like best? I’ve got my favorites, let’s hear yours...

There’s a part in this chapter that I think is where the title of the story is referenced. They are talking about the Civil War being of interest to Jasper. Bella surprises Edward at her knowledge of the Emancipation Proclamation. She tells him that all slaves know that Lincoln was supposed to have given freedom to all, and here they are still enslaved despite a war having been fought over it. It’s an Edward and Bella moment, when he sadly and profoundly tells her that he can’t save them all, but that he promises to save HER if it’s the last thing he does.   Pretty sad, right?     

Chapter 37:  This chapter starts out explaining Bella’s POV and how she freaked out seeing Esme. She remembers Esme as being Jane’s sister in- law, and of course it puts her right back in the slave/master frame of mind. Until Esme tells her a story of when she was a child. The story is about how Carlisle throws a rock at “crazy Janie” to protect Esme. Alec is silently watching this (he was creepy even as a kid) and when Carlisle’s mother goes to punish him for throwing the rock, Alec speaks up and defends him saying that “...because he was only trying to protect his family...a person should never face punishment for protecting their own.”  Well this proves to be something that Carlisle, Edward, and even Alec continue to live by. Esme also tells her something that Bella may need to hear at this point, seeing as she’s getting involved with a potential mafiaprince. The women of these made-men, understand they grew up in this life. They know they have flaws, they are violent and yet they love and accept them for who they are. And she let’s Bella know that she sees that Bella cares for Edward and that she too accepts him for who he is. Yeah, seems like their little secret isn’t so secret after all.
Esme’s nurturing and kindness helps Bella feel better, they go on to have a really nice Christmas. Opening up gifts. Did you pick Rosalie’s gift to be your favorite? Yeah, well I’m sure we haven’t heard the last of that gift yet!

Chapter 38: This chapter is a rare Carlisle POV. This is the chapter that convinced me that Carlisle wasn’t such a bad man. Esme and Carlisle watch out the window as “the kids” play in the snow, which by the way, is the first snow fall Bella has ever experienced.
Carlisle explains that he blames himself for Elizabeth’s death, not doing more to protect her. He also  blames himself for not being able to help Edward deal with his emotional pain. They talk about knowing that Edward and Bella have fallen in love and how Carlisle thinks they are “idiots” to think that it will work out for them. Esme tries to explain how good it is for both of them, they are healing  each other. Carlisle also admits he was wrong for being so cruel to Bella on the anniversary of Elizabeth’s death. He’s ashamed of himself and knows that his wife would be too. The theme of atonement and revenge are also discussed by Carlisle, he wants to make up for not being able to save Elizabeth and for all the bad he feels he’s caused others.
We get the history of how Elizabeth and Carlisle met Bella, and the attachment that was formed with this sweet meeting.
 Elizabeth wanted to save everyone it seems, adopting Emmett after his mother abandoned him and then determined to save “bella bambina” after she meets the dirty little Bella. What is it about Bella that causes everyone she meets to fall in love with her? They all want to save her it seems. Even Carlisle wants to help her, granted at first it’s to atone for his wife, to try to do it for her. Have you changed your opinion of Carlisle? Or do you still hate him?
The part of this chapter I found most interesting is when Esme says Carlisle  should tell Edward and Bella about who she is...and he says, “ do you tell your child that his mother was murdered in front of him and he was nearly killed himself because of his girlfriend? How do you explain that he was broken, and was being pieced back together by the very same person who inadvertently caused him to shatter in the first place? How could I make my son see that it wasn’t Isabella’s fault, when part of myself still blamed her , and I was doing all I could to try to finish what she’d started...” See, Carlisle is trying to do right, but he’s still got that anger and wants revenge...he’s trying at least to get over it. He’s  not sure that Edward will be able to look at Bella with the same eyes once he knows the truth.
What do you think? Will he? Is he just like his father? Or is he better than his father?
Esme has faith in Carlisle, that he’ll redeem himself, save Bella for Elizabeth’s and Edward’s sake. How about you? Think it will happen?

I hope you’ll tell me your thoughts, comments, or drop by and tell us what chapter you’re on.

Next week’s chapters will be 39, 40, 41...


  1. I loved these chapters & last week's too when I didn't comment. Perfect was just so perfect. It's great to see those two so happy in love.

    Carlisle's chapters are my favorite. They are so informative. I hadn't realized how much Edward and Carlisle are alike.

    Thanks for the weekly read-along. I'm loving taking the time to read a few chapters eash week with you.

  2. Thanks Fran for doing this week's post!!! Awesome job!

    I'm only in the middle of Chapter 37 in my reread, so I really want to come back after I get a chance to catch up and reread all 3 of the chapters. I'll be back. :)

  3. OH Man! I was a slacker AGAIN!!! Ok. That's it...I'm running my planned errand, sitting my fat bahunkes on the couch and reading these. {in best Governator voice} I'll Beee Baaaacckk.

  4. Just finished rereadIng these chappies! Here are some of my favorite bits. First, I loved experiencing Bellas first Xmas through her innocent eyes. Seeing snow for the time was so overwhelming for her. Second, I loved when Jasper called Bella "darling" cuz I totally heard Jackson's hot little country drawl when he says that. Also, I love Emmett acting like a little kid (who needs a dose of Ritalin!) on Xmas morning. Lastly, I love the whole Carlisle POV chapter. We learn so much about his past as well as Edward and Bella's. It's a little bit of the relief to know that Carlisle pretty much knows about the happy couple but isn't completely flipping out about it. These were 3 really good chapters!

  5. @TwitardedMom, I agree, it's freaky how much "father and son" have in common..their situations, and temperament. So it's not surprising you like Carlisle, I do too!

    @UAB, I know it's sweet to see all of Bella's firsts. She's like a little lost girl, and Edward is helping her find herself.
    I know, wouldn't you just love brothers like Emmett and Jasper?! This Emmett and Jasper are my favorite "brothers". All three of their differences balance each other, and they really accept each other as is, no judgements. Their playfulness is so endearing and it's nice for Bella who has never had a family to be part of.

    @HisBella, Get reading. Or I'm sending a black mercedes to sit outside your house until you do...

  6. Bring on the Mercedes...even if he's the "Leech", I'll take him! LOL I'm reading, I'm reading!!!

  7. Okay so I finally finished chapter 37.. Carlisle will have to wait for another day I'm exhausted.

    I loved when they were shopping and Edward basically summed up their entire relationship over the Nike's "I shrugged but didn’t argue, knowing it wouldn’t get us anywhere. I’d let her feel like it didn’t matter, because that’s who she was, and I’d buy her some goddamn Nike’s, because that’s who I was, and we’d both be fucking happy when she accepted them, because that’s just who we goddamn were together."

    I also love that Bella has been able to act mostly like a normal teenager during Christmas; shopping, spending time with her boyfriend, opening presents, playing in the snow. But I do get choked up when she worries about her mom. I get it that Carlisle can't really get into Charles' business but damn it, how can he go on knowing that she is being treated like an animal? Just like Edward has said "I can't save them all." Carlisle can't do that either but it's Bella's mom, how can he be okay keeping a child from her mother when his children were permanently kept from their mother because of others terrible actions. I don't think I ever truly get over this.

    My favorite gift for Bella would have to be Shrek Monopoly! But I bet besides Edward giving her part of himself with music her favorite was probably the art supplies from Jasper. The second time through I'm getting more of Jasper than I did the first time, he is such a gentle soul and makes the perfect counterpart to Edwards boisterous personality (although the more time he spends with Bella has certainly changed that).

    I seriously can't wait for Alec to make his appearance.. I miss him.

  8. 1st: There is entirely too much self blame with Ed & Carlisle. What the heck was he supposed to do? He was like 9 for godsakes! The Doc? well, he may have a point, but he didn't shoot her did he? (Don't answer that! I'm stuck at chappie 49. Skipping to 52 and going back.) Thank God for Esme! Anyway, I find it interesting that Edward says that Carlisle's absence really affected Jasper...what the hell dude? You don't think it affected you? You basically lost both your parents...oh, wait. That's right, nothing bother Edward. You'll wise up soon enuff buddy. I love his POV because you get the odd stuff...we fought about fighting. That's when I knew that this was alot more serious. Only two people who truly love each other will fight over assinine things. My hubby & I do it all the time...parm or mozz? Filling up the napkin holder, ice tray. Yeah, we're in it for the long Don't forget the 'goddamned bunny". I LOVE BELLA! I don't like the fact that despite Bella being allowed (such a terrible word), she can't. She'd be "lying to her about myself." SHITTY!(Yeah, potty mouthed tonight! Channeling Eddie boy!)I don't like that he took her to his 'gun' shop. He could have done that without her. He wants to keep her safe, but he inadvertantly is putting her in danger.
    I love how Esme is pretty in character; loving and considerate. She could have totally just let Bella be fearful but she wanted to reassure her. Does anyone else feel odd having Carlisle and Esme as siblings??? I do. Just sayin'. Only Rosalie would give her a vibrator!!! none of my friends ever bought me one. How do you get friends like that?

  9. @Kassie, You made a good point about how buying the Nike's summed up their relationship. He's good at that, understanding what they are to each other and makes no apologies. I love that about Edward, it is what it is...

    @HisBella, The Mercedes is still at the curb and of course Alec is inside just to insure you stay on course with reading...
    No, it doesn't make it odd for me that Esme is Carlisle's sister in this story. Maybe because I knew why Khar made it so. She knew she was having his wife die and not present, so she said she wanted Esme to be a big part of the unfolding story, and given how much influence she has over all the men in this story, I'm ok with it. Read on...
    Oh, you want a friend like Rosalie? You've come to the right place. I'm sure UAB, Kassie, or I would be happy to buy you a vibrator! I know where you can get sparkly peens too...

  10. LOL! Somebody needs to have one of those sex toy parties!!!!!

  11. Now that we're a bit off topic... I'm not kidding you when I say I can make one of those parties happen. My friend Jenn sells Pure Romance.

  12. @Kassie, UAB, HisBella,
    I say let the party happen. In July. We'll all be there! Can you picture that party?

  13. oh lord! Ok, I opened a can of worms there! I'm good in the toy department thank you. (Lord, did I just admit that!?*!) But, I've always wanted to see what one of those parties was like. Who's hostin'? UAB? Or should we roadtrip to BellaT? LOL

    Kassie: Who don't you know? "I know somebody..." "I know this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this other guy." LMAO!

    BellaT: I'm so emailing you! I'm stuck! I think this is where I got in the first read of it.

  14. OMG hb those parties are so awesome!! I've been to three of them. UAB you hosting this one??

    Really though in July if you all are up for it I can get Jenn to do a party.. we'd just need to supply the venue.

    Oh and hb.. I know a guy who knows a guy who has this cousin and he can hook you up with a home theater system.. that fell off the back of a truck ;)

  15. @everyone, I would so host said party, here, but I doubt I'd get you all to come to RI just for a party. Soooooo, it's up to you Chicago girls to get a party planned while we're there in July. We can theme it Maifia style! Get to it Kassie, you know the man, who knows the guy...

  16. Just reading this post brought goosebumps to me several times. Oh how I miss this story so much. I was going with the read along but somehow found myself suddenly finished with the story. I don't need to tell you twice but it seriously draws you in.

    I don't remember all the details but I loved the gift Bella bought for Jasper. Wasn't a fan of the one she bought for Rosalie, I just didn't see it as a "Rosalie" type of gift for some reason. The gift Rose bought for Bella, however, hmmmm. Awesome! :)

    Absolutely adore Carlisle's POV... this is the part where I REALLY got in to the story. I love Edward's POVs as well. I think it's one of the reasons I love this fic so much, you REALLY get a feel for who he is and what he feels. You can really feel what he's going through in the whole story.

  17. @J- I know what you mean this story sucks you in with the mystery of it all, it's hard to walk away from. I love Carlisle's POV or any POV where we get answers to the nagging questions like what secrets are being kept. That's why I'm glad I've already made it through once, I know all their secrets :)

  18. @Jaymes. Goosebumps happen to me even after re-reading this story. I'm thrilled you just kept reading, it's impossible not to.
    I agree the gift to Rosalie was lame, she wasn't that into her cars like Twilight Rosie was.
    Have you gotten a chance to read the epi's yet, or the outtakes? Let me know if you need help with all the extras. I'm hoping Khar keeps writing outtakes because I could read them forever.


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